your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
