You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
