i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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