Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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