I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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