do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
