after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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