i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
