Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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