Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
not ubering you a puppy
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize