Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
