If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
