i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
