Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
