At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
