Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
