She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
