but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
