I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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