bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
