dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
