What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
