Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
