Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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