life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
