She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
