This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
