Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
