Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
