I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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