under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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