Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
