Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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