I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
