what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
