OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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