Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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