i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
