Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
