dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I forget how to act sober
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
