Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
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