I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
