Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Mom said you looked used
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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