I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
