One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
