Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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