dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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