He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize