I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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