Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You made out with two different species that night
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
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