God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
