Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
