found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
