i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
