? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
