If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize