is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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