I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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