I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
