Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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