a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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