Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
