RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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