watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
