get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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